You know you have a problem when

you go through the McDonalds drive-through and you order two drinks so the attendant doesn't think all the food is for you.

Stop it, or I'll rip the quacker outta that duck!

I love the things my little critters say. Maybe you need to know the kids, but these make me laugh!

They were supposed to use the word "as" in a sentance - everyone bombed except for this one:
I em a littel girl as you can see

Journal entry:
my dad trols flams he is osum

Student comes up to me and shows me his journal and his new shoes:
I hav new shoes and et is as fast as a speden bulet

I am listening to Jason Mraz, and two of my boys are walking around with their collars popped. I said, "guys what are you doing?"
"Walking around."
"Walking around and rock'n out."
Another one says "they were being too cool."

Another journal entry:
I wot to be a pirate for hola weg

Little boy singing to himself during math:
"Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me."

A little boy telling me what he did last night: "My grandpa drew witches and I drew ghosts. Crazy ones. Killers."

They were supposed to use the word "is" in sentance (chrro = true): "is it chrro is bad is it choo that my dog is chasen my cat."

Little boy telling me about the debates on TV:
“Last night I saw the Hope of the Obamanation.”

Me - “Does anyone know what drug free is?”
Student – “it means you get drugs for free!”
Me – “No. Drugs are bad for you.”
Other student – “Is beer drugs? Everyone in my family drinks drugs.”

I was standing on a table hanging some paintings.
Student - “Are you allowed to do what you are doing?”
Me – “What do you mean?”
Student – “Standing like that on the table.”
Me – “Whose table is it?”
Student “Yours.”
Me – “Well?”
Other student “She's the teacher. She's gotta do what shes gotta do.”